Your closet is a metaphor for your life.
While creative style requires a confident attitude to pull it off, looking your best requires the smallest attitude adjustments. Replacing a worn out perspective will help you make better choices.
Let’s examine a new view, shall we?
1. The Basics of Fashion are logical and technical, not utilitarian
Dressing well is achieved by applying budgets, personal features and lifestyle preferences to simple shopping tactics in the retail trends.
There are “rules” to dressing well because of social norms (the unpopularity of swim trunks in the office for instance), and aesthetics (colors, textiles, and other details working together). In totality, this creates an image that looks better to the human eye, affecting your demeanor and those around you.
I call it:
Confident Knowledge* = perceived competence + ease of dress + looking hotter.
The equation is as follows:
*smarter people call it the Halo Effect.
Aesthetics is as much a science as an art. Personal style and creativity may not develop out of logic, but looking nicer sure can.
2. Dress well to look competent
Your indifference doesn't usually translate ala Einstein's adorable mess. When you are not bothered to put an effort into your appearance it often implies incompetence.
As an intelligent leader, you assure your friends, families, and colleagues that you are reliable and trustworthy. Being unrefined is charming for some in Zuckerberg's world, but unless you are actually going down in history, it diminishes you. For example, when meeting for a date, a high-quality partner will put forth their best self, and they will be more interested in someone who has the same level of self-care.
Looking polished and appropriate in most situations gives others a reason to trust and respect you.
Attractive people make themselves more attractive with grooming and dress. They don't pray their abs or facial symmetry will be enough. They work what they have even more, which furthers their attraction and social prowess.
Like other skills, this can be a learned or hired out.
Wondering what to do first? Focus on your body and grooming.
- When was the last time you flossed?
- Do you wait longer than necessary between haircuts?
- Do you have ragged fingernails (from time to time)?
- Do you “sometimes” skip a shower?
- Not brush your hair?
The point is, even if you’re little unkempt, then that what you’re known for.
Being the smelly-needs-a-haircut-should-floss-more kind of person.
Think on it.
3. The struggle isn't unique
I've dressed hundreds of people. All shapes, sizes, backgrounds, colors, educational levels, and income brackets.
Once, a client hired me to help her feel sexy again after having her breasts removed from cancer.
You'd be amazed what comes out in someone's closet. Life can be a motherfucker for everyone.
I have heard everyone's style story and struggles:
- You can’t find shoes to fit your feet
- Mom, sister or so-and-so used to drag you shopping as a kid
- Nothing ever fits - arms too long, thighs too thick, too tall, short, etc
- Stores are crowded and overwhelming
- How to dress well is anxiety-inducing
- There are too many brands - where do I go, what do I pick?
- Hours of effort to buy two things that are just “okay
- Pants are always too short
- Etc, etc.
These challenges are real and valid, but everyone has something that makes dressing or shopping difficult.
We can't always make our hair grow back or our bodies be what they used to be, but we sure can make you feel like hot shit.
It's just clothes; we can figure this out.
4. Get A Growth Mindset
If you give up on personal change, you’re shortchanging yourself. Those who feel they can improve do so because they try again and again.
They learn, they grow, and they evolve. They believe they can figure it out, and they do.
If you give up, you’re shortchanging yourself. Those who feel they can improve eventually do better because they try again, they learn, they grow, and they evolve. They believe they can eventually, and so they do.
Guess what? This includes shit like figuring out how to match colors.
5. "How I look shouldn’t really matter"
Of course how you look matters.
This comment is about a person's insecurity that they aren’t enough.
Saying looks shouldn’t matter is like saying your grammar shouldn’t count when submitting a thesis. It’s the idea (person) that matters, right!? Ha!
No one is going to focus on what you’re message is if it’s unpolished. The same goes with your appearance.
When is the last time you saw a hot person and thought how they looked didn’t matter? Clearly it mattered or you wouldn't have found them attractive.
When was the last time an attractive person smiling at you didn’t affect the way you felt?
Yes, we are all flawed (we actually prefer people to have an imperfectly symmetrical face).
Attraction isn't about perfection.
Caring about looking your best is another way share all the things that do make you beautiful.
Only then we will attract a tribe that likes us for us.
When you look “good enough” people’s first impressions are that you’re “good enough”.
What a sad, sad way to start off. I bet you're amazing, not good enough.
When you show it, the right ones believe it.